Now the fun starts. Jimmy is entering our address into the gps and there are some complications.....maybe his first lady wants to stop at the Prada outlet store.The kids are set up in the back seat and they are laughing, just being kids. How dare they! Don't they know that "HEAD of HOMELAND SECURITY" (from here on in will be referred to as HHS) is busy at work. HHS takes his job very seriously. How will he manage to make a stop along the way when there are 5 macbooks, 3 ipads, 5 blackberries, 5 ipods, 1 gps, insulin, epipens, cash, credit cards and the list goes on.....HHS is agitated by the very people he is trying to protect. "get out of the car!" he screams.
Our friend Raymond, the Romanian doorman is amused. Perhaps he never saw adult children being punished before. To be fair, he is probably used to his rich Russian clientele who punish their children by buying them fox coats rather than chinchilla....but i digress. Raymond kindly offers the kids bikes if the HHS decides to leave without them.
The first lady now sees that this is more than the HHS can bear. For some reason, travel days turn the HHS into a very evil man so therefore she acquiesces "I will go to Prada on another day, a day when you are of sound mind, but we will still need to stop for lunch. You will just have to wrap your head around it."
HHS permits his children to re-enter the vehicle and off we go.
We stop at Montecatini Alto, a lovely hilltop village in the province of Tuscany. As the car climbs the windy road up to the vIllage, the HHS seems relieved, apparently the further you go from a highway the less likely you are to be robbed. Still, as the vehicle will be out of our sight when we eat, the HHS orders that all valuables must remain on each person. Out of the vehicle comes, 5 people, 5 MacBooks, 5 iPods, 5 blackberries, 1 camera, 3 iPads, 3 epipens, insulin, 1 gps, cash, lots of credit cards... We manage to eat and then walk around the small town with all our stuff.
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The rest of the way is smooth sailing the gps takes us right to our door...wait...no it doesn't. The address does not exist! The first lady insists that the HHS ask the one person that we see. This is completely against every fibre of the HHS's being. This would breach every
security code the HHS has ever learned from his direct superior WGA. He has no choice. He declares this is an emergency measure. The lady speaks no english but good thing the HHS is fluent in Italian. She gets in her car and motions us to follow her. As we think we are being lead to captivity and torture the HHS and his charges fall completely silent. After about 8 minutes up a windy road the eagle lands! Le Porciglia!!!!
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| Our saviour |
Important note: I stole the term "the first lady" from my fellow blogger and good friend Jake Greenberg. Check out his blog ....myfatguyproblems.
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